十万个冷笑话-福禄篇
旁白：在很久很久以前，有一座葫芦山，镇压着一只千年蛇妖，一天一直穿山甲不小心钻破了山体放出了蛇精，一名路过的老汉救出了被压在石头下的穿山甲 还拿到了七彩葫芦籽，据说，只要种出七彩葫芦就能够消灭妖精，老汉将葫芦籽带回家，不久之后，就长出了七个颜色各异的葫芦，事情很快传到了蛇精的耳中。 Long long ago, there was a hulu hill, there is a millennium demon, one day ,a pangolin accidentally breaking the mountain ,and the snake demon ran out of the mountain, a passer-by ,the old man rescued the pangolin which was trapped in the stone. the colourful gourd seeds were discovered by the old man.it was said that, as long as the seven colourful hulu can eliminate the snake,the old man took the gourd seeds home, soon, seven different colours hulu borned, this thing soon spread to the the snake.
蛤蟆：报告大王
My king
蛇精：说过多少次了，不要叫我大王，要叫我女王大人！！ How many times, don't call me king, call me queen
旁白：抱歉，不要误会，我们要讲的完全不是你想的那个故事 齐：十万个冷笑话
蛇精：说过多少次了，不要叫我大王，要叫我女王大人 How many times, don't call me king, call me queen 蛤蟆：好的大王 报告大王 那老汉家就在前方！
Ok my king my king the old man’s home is over there! 蛇精：啊~
旁白：于是，在一个月黑风高的晚上
So, In a dark and stormy night
老汉：help！Help！
福禄们：爷爷！爷爷！
Grandpa!grandpa!
大娃：呕鸡酱
Grandpa simida!
蛤蟆：大王
My KING
蛇精：叫我女王大人啊
Call me queen
蛤蟆：好的大王，话说大王为什么只抓老汉啊，福禄们怎么办啊 Ok my king! By the way,why do we catch the grandpa and leave the hulus there,my king?
蛇精：你懂个p啊，这叫擒贼先擒王，给我学着点儿 Are you Fahai? This is a strategy named: Destroy the
Watch and learn!
旁白：老汉被抓走好多天之后，福禄们 也成熟啦！ 终于，大娃诞生啦！
Since the day the old man was caught away, hulus are grown up! finally, Dawa is there!
大娃：呕豆豆们哟 安心洗路 尼桑我绝对会将你们呕鸡酱带回来的 撒，一狗！
My brothers congkong! Just calm down, your oppa will definitely bringour grandpa back simida! Here I go simida! 福禄1（四娃）：大哥他又在说霓虹语了，不愧是宅男啊，话说福禄刻还没完全裂开，没事把大哥，没问题吧大哥
He said the kimchi language again, so international! But his shell hasn't completely opened, are you all right big brother? do you have any problem my dude?
福禄2（五娃）：不妙啊 总觉得前途黑暗啊
I don’t think we have a bright future…
旁白：翻山越岭后，大娃来到了蛇精的山洞
Tramp over mountains and through rivers, Dawa get to snake’s cave
大娃：终于让我找到你的老窝了蛇精！哈压裤把我的呕鸡酱还给
我 我还可以饶你门不死
Finally let me find you, Snake! You! Send my grandpa back to me and I can let you alive.
蛇精：福禄妖怪啊
Oh my gosh! Monster!
蛤蟆：大王 我们才是妖怪吧
We are the monsters in fact, my king!
大娃：苦索 看来你们是敬酒不吃吃罚酒
Damn you! It seems that you want to do it the hard way? 蛇精：哎？！我们还什么都没说啊
Hey! We said nothing!
大娃：那那把洗捏 我会把你们一个不剩的干掉
Simida congkong! I’ll kill all of you!
蛇精：好好听人说话啊喂！我们明明都还没有表态啊 喂 Listen to me right now! we didn’t open our mouth! 大娃：就让我用我最自傲的能力来干掉你们吧，变 大 吧 Let me use my unique ability to kill you,big!
蛇精：巨大化
Huge?
大娃：哈啊啊啊啊啊~ 完成
Ha~~done!
蛇精：..........................只有头变大了看起来好恶心
啊！！！
Only your head changed big! It looks disgusting! 大娃：嘿嘿嘿嘿 怕。。。怕了吧
Are you scared simida?
蛇精：怕个鸟啊
Nope!
大娃：不过 还真有那么一点沉呢
Unfortunately, it’s a little bit heavy…
蛇精：别逞强了你 不是都快撑不住了吗 啊 喂
Don't try to be brave! You can't hold yourself! 大娃：不过我完全不在乎呢 就这重量
I don’t care! This means nothing!
蛇精：脖子扭断啦 出人命啦！！
Your neck is twisted! A death-causing accident! 旁白: 大娃，扑（po）街（gai）
Dawa, game over!
与此同时，千里之外的山头上
At the same time,the hill which is far away
二娃：那个笨蛋宅男大哥 不先等着我就自己冲过去了 也不想想自己有多少本事
That dude is an stupid guy! He didn’t wait for me! He didn’t think about his ability!
旁白：二娃也诞生啦
There comes Erwa!
二娃：看来还是得我去救 蛇精什么的在本大爷面前完全不够看 我的双眼是最强的 可以看到千里之外的景色 又可以放出霹雳雷霆 甚至还有透视能力 当同时用上透视能力和千里眼时 不论哪个角落的敌人情况全都逃不过我的眼睛！
This must depend on me! That snake is just a supporting Role! My eyes are the strongest! I can not only see the views thousands miles away , but also make thunderstorms. When I use my perspective eyes, you can’t escape no matter where you are!
蛇精：小的们 把这个大头娃搬进来
My servants, bring this huge-headed guy in!
蛤蟆：是
Yeah!
二娃：啊啊啊啊啊哦哦哦哦哦哦哦~~~~~~~~~扑哧！！！！！！【喷血】 旁白2：二娃，扑街 然后.....................................
Erwa, game over!
十万个冷笑话-福禄篇
旁白：在很久很久以前，有一座葫芦山，镇压着一只千年蛇妖，一天一直穿山甲不小心钻破了山体放出了蛇精，一名路过的老汉救出了被压在石头下的穿山甲 还拿到了七彩葫芦籽，据说，只要种出七彩葫芦就能够消灭妖精，老汉将葫芦籽带回家，不久之后，就长出了七个颜色各异的葫芦，事情很快传到了蛇精的耳中。 Long long ago, there was a hulu hill, there is a millennium demon, one day ,a pangolin accidentally breaking the mountain ,and the snake demon ran out of the mountain, a passer-by ,the old man rescued the pangolin which was trapped in the stone. the colourful gourd seeds were discovered by the old man.it was said that, as long as the seven colourful hulu can eliminate the snake,the old man took the gourd seeds home, soon, seven different colours hulu borned, this thing soon spread to the the snake.
蛤蟆：报告大王
My king
蛇精：说过多少次了，不要叫我大王，要叫我女王大人！！ How many times, don't call me king, call me queen
旁白：抱歉，不要误会，我们要讲的完全不是你想的那个故事 齐：十万个冷笑话
蛇精：说过多少次了，不要叫我大王，要叫我女王大人 How many times, don't call me king, call me queen 蛤蟆：好的大王 报告大王 那老汉家就在前方！
Ok my king my king the old man’s home is over there! 蛇精：啊~
旁白：于是，在一个月黑风高的晚上
So, In a dark and stormy night
老汉：help！Help！
福禄们：爷爷！爷爷！
Grandpa!grandpa!
大娃：呕鸡酱
Grandpa simida!
蛤蟆：大王
My KING
蛇精：叫我女王大人啊
Call me queen
蛤蟆：好的大王，话说大王为什么只抓老汉啊，福禄们怎么办啊 Ok my king! By the way,why do we catch the grandpa and leave the hulus there,my king?
蛇精：你懂个p啊，这叫擒贼先擒王，给我学着点儿 Are you Fahai? This is a strategy named: Destroy the
Watch and learn!
旁白：老汉被抓走好多天之后，福禄们 也成熟啦！ 终于，大娃诞生啦！
Since the day the old man was caught away, hulus are grown up! finally, Dawa is there!
大娃：呕豆豆们哟 安心洗路 尼桑我绝对会将你们呕鸡酱带回来的 撒，一狗！
My brothers congkong! Just calm down, your oppa will definitely bringour grandpa back simida! Here I go simida! 福禄1（四娃）：大哥他又在说霓虹语了，不愧是宅男啊，话说福禄刻还没完全裂开，没事把大哥，没问题吧大哥
He said the kimchi language again, so international! But his shell hasn't completely opened, are you all right big brother? do you have any problem my dude?
福禄2（五娃）：不妙啊 总觉得前途黑暗啊
I don’t think we have a bright future…
旁白：翻山越岭后，大娃来到了蛇精的山洞
Tramp over mountains and through rivers, Dawa get to snake’s cave
大娃：终于让我找到你的老窝了蛇精！哈压裤把我的呕鸡酱还给
我 我还可以饶你门不死
Finally let me find you, Snake! You! Send my grandpa back to me and I can let you alive.
蛇精：福禄妖怪啊
Oh my gosh! Monster!
蛤蟆：大王 我们才是妖怪吧
We are the monsters in fact, my king!
大娃：苦索 看来你们是敬酒不吃吃罚酒
Damn you! It seems that you want to do it the hard way? 蛇精：哎？！我们还什么都没说啊
Hey! We said nothing!
大娃：那那把洗捏 我会把你们一个不剩的干掉
Simida congkong! I’ll kill all of you!
蛇精：好好听人说话啊喂！我们明明都还没有表态啊 喂 Listen to me right now! we didn’t open our mouth! 大娃：就让我用我最自傲的能力来干掉你们吧，变 大 吧 Let me use my unique ability to kill you,big!
蛇精：巨大化
Huge?
大娃：哈啊啊啊啊啊~ 完成
Ha~~done!
蛇精：..........................只有头变大了看起来好恶心
啊！！！
Only your head changed big! It looks disgusting! 大娃：嘿嘿嘿嘿 怕。。。怕了吧
Are you scared simida?
蛇精：怕个鸟啊
Nope!
大娃：不过 还真有那么一点沉呢
Unfortunately, it’s a little bit heavy…
蛇精：别逞强了你 不是都快撑不住了吗 啊 喂
Don't try to be brave! You can't hold yourself! 大娃：不过我完全不在乎呢 就这重量
I don’t care! This means nothing!
蛇精：脖子扭断啦 出人命啦！！
Your neck is twisted! A death-causing accident! 旁白: 大娃，扑（po）街（gai）
Dawa, game over!
与此同时，千里之外的山头上
At the same time,the hill which is far away
二娃：那个笨蛋宅男大哥 不先等着我就自己冲过去了 也不想想自己有多少本事
That dude is an stupid guy! He didn’t wait for me! He didn’t think about his ability!
旁白：二娃也诞生啦
There comes Erwa!
二娃：看来还是得我去救 蛇精什么的在本大爷面前完全不够看 我的双眼是最强的 可以看到千里之外的景色 又可以放出霹雳雷霆 甚至还有透视能力 当同时用上透视能力和千里眼时 不论哪个角落的敌人情况全都逃不过我的眼睛！
This must depend on me! That snake is just a supporting Role! My eyes are the strongest! I can not only see the views thousands miles away , but also make thunderstorms. When I use my perspective eyes, you can’t escape no matter where you are!
蛇精：小的们 把这个大头娃搬进来
My servants, bring this huge-headed guy in!
蛤蟆：是
Yeah!
二娃：啊啊啊啊啊哦哦哦哦哦哦哦~~~~~~~~~扑哧！！！！！！【喷血】 旁白2：二娃，扑街 然后.....................................
Erwa, game over!